the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
