Sry I called you an 8
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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