You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
