names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
