How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Actions speak louder than pants.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
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