do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
