i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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