Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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