dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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