With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
17 year olds will be the death of me.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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