I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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