but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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