I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
