and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Randomize