just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize
