i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
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