Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
