I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Randomize
