Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize