hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Randomize