I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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