All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
if i can run in heels then i can drive
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
My breasts were aching with rage.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
