Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize