just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
