I just saw a hot homeless man
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Randomize
