So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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