yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
