strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize