Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
i dont even know how to be here
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
