just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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