hotel room ftw
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
