this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
