You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
