Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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