my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize