I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
