Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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