You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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