i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
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