Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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