Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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