But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
