I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
