oh god the rape fog is back!
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
