Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
