well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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