I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
The beer is more important than you right now.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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