then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
