Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
