I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
