Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
