i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
