Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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