I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Randomize
