My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
