I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
