You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
