Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize