Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
everyone is single if you try hard enough
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I made him laugh his dick is mine
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