i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
