He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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